His message was crude and vulgar, straight to the point. “Do you wanna fuck?” – I wonder how successful that approach is for him, how often he actually lands a fish and succeeds with his four word courtation….delete.

“do you like younger men”- oh god how old is this one – 28. What is a 28 year old male wanting with a 50 year old woman, a mother? Sigh….delete.

“You have the most interesting profile I’ve read”….mmmmm – check pic, check age, read profile – ok he gets my attention.  Four messages in ‘wanna fuck?”……..Actually mate no – you’re a bogan….sigh delete.

I wanna lick your pussie, you’re hot mama, sexy mama, sexy lady, sexy sexy sexy””…….delete, delete, delete, delete, delete.

“We have lots in common” says the short fat hairy truck-driving smoking drinking biker from Hoppers Crossing… My my my – who would have thought he liked classical music, theatre and fine dining…….” fancy restaurant  – La Porcetta – no thanks”

We meet in a Bar by the Bay – it’s a beautiful night – he’s running late – (sigh) – he’s sorry, traffic, family, work.  Handsome yes but I spend the night fighting his hands…good god man get some self control.

We meet in a Bar in the City – it’s a beautiful night – he’s running late – (sigh) – he’s sorry, traffic, family, work, his phone rings all night long.

We meet for Brunch – it’s a beautiful morning – he’s running late – (sigh) – he’s sorry, traffic, family, hangover, he shorter than his profile outline and his pic weren’t current…..would I like to sit in a pub for the afternoon…….mate I don’t drink so no….can I drop him off at the pub????……sure!!!!

We meet for dinner – it’s a beautiful night – he’s running late – (sigh) – he was having a ciggie outside.   His addiction so strong that  I smell him enter the restaurant.

Can we meet at my place………..  “why a public venue”  he asks….don’t I trust him????…He wants to stick his tongue……. Where? – oh my god! …No that doesn’t turn me on.

We meet for coffee – he’s waiting for me (nice)……..its really pleasant, he’s pleasant, he texts later saying hello and if I’d like, he’d like to catch up again!

It comes naturally to him – he holds my hand when we walk along the street, he opens the door for me, his kiss is gentle and his hands respectful.

We eat fish and chips on the beach one hot December night and tell our glory day stories. This man, this man likes women, he really likes women……weeks in and we sleep together – its really nice, he says it nice, he says he wants to do that again……. and then bang he ghosts me…….I never hear from him again.

When I wake in my empty bed, my dream of love and desire still vivid, I wonder if my man exists. OK cupid!   Taking every day as an opportunity to be had.

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