A “love button 11” profile

My self-summary       

 There comes a time in every woman’s life when Mother Nature stands behind us and wraps her arms around our shoulders, whispering
“It’s time. You can stop growing up, stop growing older and start growing wiser and wilder. There are adventures still waiting on you and you will enjoy them with the vision of wisdom and the companionship of hindsight. It’s time to stop the madness of comparison and the ridicule of schedule and conformity and start experiencing the joys that a life, free of containment and guilt, can bring.”
Mother Nature shook me then and reminded me that I’ve done my bit. I’ve given enough, cared enough, conformed enough. I’ve bought the book, as it were, and worn the t-shirt. And she reminded me that it was time to stop caring what other people think of me and instead care about what I think of me!
‘It’s time’ she said “to write the ending, or new beginning, of my own story.”
So here I am, looking for a big boy with a pen!

What I’m doing with my life

I make the broken look beautiful and I wear my life wounds like a majestic pair of wings, I am a delicate little flower but made so strong that storms don’t phase me. I’m a woman who know how to be happy even when I’m sad. And that’s important.

I’m really good at:

  • Being in love with my life, every goddam minute of it. It’s my trail and I intend to blaze it and blaze it good.
  • Being in love with myself. I think of how I’d like to be loved and make it happen for myself.
  • Being in love with a partner. I’m really ready to love someone like there is no tomorrow and to show it all.
  • Being in love with my home. Never mind the things I don’t like about it, I’m pouring some sparkle on what I have and it will make all the difference.
  • Being in love with my family. None of us are perfect but they are my blood and my history, and I need them in my life.
  • Being in love with my job. Actually I hate it but it’s time to flip that and look at all the positives and be thankful I have what I have. If I can’t, then I’m going to change it, life’s too short.
  • Being in love with being in love. I am about creating a life full of friendships and sloppy kisses and squashy hugs. It’s food for the soul.

My favourite saying
I’m not needy, I’m wanty

Six things I could never do without

Im not normal. My life is too short to blend and fade into the background. To compromise and squeeze into boxes that weren’t made for me and don’t fit me. To thrash out all my quirks and unique qualities and smooth down my edges until I’m bland and acceptable.

I spend a lot of time thinking about

Life was made to be stretched and evolved not to smother and oppress. There is no ceiling to the happiness you can feel and no end to the limits you can reach. Burn brightly, sparkle fiercely, live loudly. Most of all be you. You are not only enough, you are a whole new level of enough. You are you and no one is quite like you.


You should message me if

  • You play well, you are intelligent, well balanced, dedicated to growing, employed.
  • You want to lend me your pen.

Eharmony – totally hopeless

Hi there – I find some of these questions a bit limiting so I am ignoring convention and heading down a new path with my answers.  I’d appreciate it if you’d read all my info because eharmony has said we are a match – I’d be interested to know what you think.

Firstly I am a lot left of centre – I have a few quirks that make me a rather interesting person.

I ride a motorcycle and have done since I was a teen.  I use to be hard-core but now I’m more a fair weather rider.  I also love my push bike and enjoy getting around in this fashion.

I practice karate and train three to four times a week.  No I am not a black belt.  I love the discipline, the technical skills, the sparing and being in a team without being in a team, (all the camaraderie of a team with the benefit of no one relying on you).

I use to row – up at 5 am four mornings a week for 10 years – but being 162cm’s I was just too short to get anywhere with it – so that went by the wayside.

The only sport I watch is UFC – just love a bit of cage fighting and maybe rugby but I couldn’t care less about AFL, cricket, golf, tennis, motorsports, basketball etc.

I also love camping in my caravan and getting away for the weekend into the bush or the beach.  I am an avid snorkeler.

So now you must be thinking I’m some kind of uncultured ruffian – but I am a dichotomy.  I LOVE and attend theatre, ballet, opera, classical music, and contemporary dance.  Last year I saw over 50 performances.  Gallery openings, flower and garden shows, home expos, fine dining– all take my fancy.  I love topical gardens and roses, design and interior decorating.

When I travel I like to go local – travel on the local bus, stay in the local accommodation, live in the local way – I have had sensational travel experiences -living in a Zanzibarian village, a bungalow in Vanuatu, backpacking Europe, home staying in Cuba.  Sure I like gorgeous hotels but I struggle to justify the expense – why travel overseas to stay in a resort full of tourists – better to stay home and get a facial, I say.

I’m educated, seriously intelligent, hilarious and witty.  My emotional intelligence is well developed and I am comfortable in my skin.  I think I’m pretty well put together and certainly worth taking the risk on a few emails, phone conversations and dates.  I am not a psycho and I am not needy.

In general I am a very positive person and my friends say I am supremely resourceful and resilient. Like most people I have stared down the long corridor of depression driven by the sadness of divorce, the struggle with cancer (11 years free) and the grief of death and I have clawed my way back to the light one day at a time without relying on drugs.  I am like a peach – delicious with a tough centre.

My philosophy about eharmony is that everyone is here with the best of intentions and should be treated respectfully.  To that end, if my profile is interesting to you and you get a sense of connection then I’d love you to send me an email – what have you got to loose except the opportunity to meet a stellar woman.

Soft Places

Plenty of fish profile 2017

In my books, intelligent, articulate, fit nice guys always win. If you want to know about my Soft places read on.
I really enjoy life. I Love being a woman, I love how my hips swing when I walk, how my little layer of famine protection hides muscle, how my jelly shakes and wiggles, how bone tired I feel when I finish training. How good it feels to climb into bed and how delicious it is falling asleep.
I Love summer heat although the sun and I are a challenge together. The Suns long kiss a little too much for my tender skin. Winter is also a challenge best solved by cuddling. Sometimes I think I can never be cuddled enough.

I am content to be a dichotomy – wild and moral, conservative and free, trusting and cautious, energized and lazy.
The only games I play are card games.

I find delight in simple things, slow close dancing, tender gentle kissing, beautiful flowers and exquisite perfume, waves crashing on the shore, sitting by a river, trees, Saturday mornings.
I love beauty in all things – from a well crafted piece of furniture to the lines of sailing boat, from a handcrafted basket to Japanese pottery. From the curve of a mans muscles to the tip of his toes.

My world is full of music

I love to exercise and workout, love getting sweaty, Love pushing my body just that little bit harder, just a little bit more, just to see what I can take.
I Love my femininity and I love men who RESPECT me for all my femaleness. Essentially I love the other half of what makes me a complete woman – a man.

I love a man who prioritize time together and is looking to build and cultivate a friendship, a date mate and a love interest. Seriously who doesn’t love intimacy and delicious sensuality. It surprises me that people rush the discovery of the lush stuff. I have so many erogenous zones that don’t live between my legs. I am a veritable playground (aren’t we all) and it’s in being able to discover the keys to vulnerability and intimacy that make for the most wonderful of times.

I desire good company and someone who knows how to be at home when welcomed in. My boundaries change with intimacy.

And since you read this far- some more things you should know.
I’m easy-going, kind, straight to the point
Looking for my Mr Right
I work hard and I push life to the limits.
Easily entertained – like a good story, an interesting adventure, a thoughtful conversation and silence as well.
I have a great sense of what’s truly funny.
I like people who do what they say they will, when they say they will.
I keep my promises
I make time
I honour commitment
I’m loyal
I will stand by you
I will hold your hand.

Oh and this
My flirtatious sensual nature shouldn’t be misconstrued for bed jumping fun. I’m a longer term prospect. Be fun to date, gentle with your approach, considerate of my time, respectful of the relationship building process and I will reward you with passionate, committed, honest, long term joy.
I’ve always known – right to the core of my being, that my preference is for men, in particularly fit active handsome men. I’ve known since I was a child, a feisty, red headed, independent, adventurous wild thing; that the power to be vulnerable resides in the arms of a man. An intelligent, caring, considerate Man.

Conversation Starters (i.e. what you’d like to do on a first date…)

Meeting somewhere comfortable and quiet.
Somewhere in the city on a Friday night
Somewhere in the southeast on a weekend
Cafes for brunch or lunch
Restaurants for dinner
A Classy Bar after work
A dance venue
The Foyer of a Theatre
Walk along the beach





Weekend Away

 Without a doubt it was one of the most beautiful and relaxing places for a holiday I had ever found. A delightful cabin charmingly basic in its amenities – overstuffed leather couch, huge double bed, table for two and a porch overlooking the slow moving river. No internet and limited phone coverage – the implication (he can’t work if he can’t log on), it seemed perfect.

The owners had put in a spa bath, the only nod to luxury needed. Surrounded by gum trees and set on a promenade jutting into the river the only way across to the other side, a dusty potholed road or jumping stones.

It was perfect for a fifth date- perfect for a weekend to consummate a new love, perfect in all ways, even the short walk into the village for supplies and internet coverage, all part of the charm.

He wasn’t coming till late – his last email slightly concerning – “car in the repair shop hope to get it out by 12 – see you at 3” – surely no need to worry and it gave me enough time to prepare.

I’m sure there is some scientific basis for pubic hair but I fail to see its use – neat clean naked is my personal preference and now I have time to remove it all – clean back and sides and a little map of Tassie my signature look.

My little silk dress sliding over my frame, no bra and no knickers, the soft fabric brushing across my body felt like his touch and I could almost feel his tongue caressing my sweet pink place – now so clean and tidy.

Grabbing my handbag I ventured to the stepping-stone crossing. I had enough time to walk into the village to check emails and maybe I would meet him there. Jumping from one stone to the other and laughing like a child at play, I felt alive and risqué, the breeze playing against my naked undercarriage. God I felt horny -I even waved at the fisherman intent on pulling Cod from the river.

His email crushing – “Hiya I won’t be able to get my car until Monday – sorry I can’t make it.” I tried to ring him but no answer. Three weeks of planning and discussion, hours of internet searching all for nothing. He wasn’t coming. Anger turned to frustration, frustration to bruised ego, bruised ego to self-doubt, my journey back to the cabin tinged with disbelief, ‘why me’ and pain…………..not horny now.

The fisherman waved, but I could barely respond. I was halfway across the river when the phone buried in the recesses of my handbag rang – “fuck where is it”, the search made more precarious by balancing on a rock– the phone leaping from my hand as I pulled it forcefully from my bag, I catch it, I get my balance and it stops ringing. The unlock code, press redial, come on answer – it does – it’s the answering machine in his office – fuck he’s at work. I can’t speak – did he even try to get his car from the repair shop???, is his car even in the repair shop????? I can’t do it – I can’t question like this. I step across the river.

Except I don’t – I am in the river, I’m under the river, my phone floating away, my glasses dislodged , where are they , where are they, I’m blind without them. I’m screaming, frustration, anger, despair, fear and madness raging from my lips. They are gone – my eyesight and my phone gone – I am blind.

The scramble up the muddy bank leaving me with bruises, my silk dress smeared in filth, clinging to me like a bedraggled cat. I stagger squinting to the cabin too scared to contemplate how I would drive home.

Tears come now as I peel my dress from my frame, I fill the spa bath to wash the mud from me and I stand naked and crying – along and lost. “Come on girl worst things have happened”,– I shake myself out of my stupor, “come on girl get up, get moving”. Resilience, I have in it spades, it doesn’t mean I like it and it doesn’t mean things don’t hurt but I get up, I walk the line every day of my life, I walk the line.

“Wow you’re a sight” says a voice behind me. I scream more from surprise than fear “who are you, how long have you been standing there”.

His laugh genuine and gentle, “not long enough to savour your delights“, he says – oh god that’s right I’m naked. I don’t even know where the towels are.

“Please mate, I’ve lost my glasses, lost my phone and I’ve been stood up, I’m not in a good place, please leave me alone….I can’t even find the towels” tears well again.

“I can help you there” he says and he moves past me into the alcove, “although it’s a shame to cover up such a beautiful view”. He hands me a towel. “You’re the fisherman right?” I say

“That’s it love, I heard you scream so I thought I should come and give you a hand, make sure you are ok. You look like you could do with that bath, let me help you”.

“I’ll be right” I say before unceremoniously tripping on the edge of the towel and landing facedown butt naked and spreadeagled on the floor, the towel coming to rest on my head. I hear a moan escape from his lips as his gentle hands help me up.


“Just saying and don’t take this the wrong way but you have a stunning arse, come on let me get you in that bath so you can clean up and I’ll make you a cup of tea”.

As he helps me into the warm spa I notice he’s wet, dripping wet “what happened to you “I say, “well love I went for a bit of a swim” I hear him shuffle around in the kitchen, humming a little tune

He sits on the edge of the spa, and I tell him my sorry tale, what a nice man I think. I don’t even care that he’s seeing me naked. He’s shivering – Sometimes I act rashly, without thinking and before I know it I say “you should get in here with me and warm up”

As if waiting for the invitation all along, he’s naked and sitting opposite me in seconds. “You like foot massages’ he asks. He picks up my foot and places my toes into his mouth. OMG the feeling is incredible. “do you like that too” I ask, “mmmyesmmm”. And I too suck his toes, its rather fun.

“Don’t take this the wrong way love but I think a lady like you deserve some tender care and given that your date didn’t come I’m happy to help out.”

I laugh, “what do you have in mind? He helps me out of the spa and starts drying off my back, his hands tracing down my spine until they rest at the top of my cheeks, his hands gripping hold – “great arse love” he says, and he spread my cheeks, his face pushes into my buns and his tongue searches for my rim.

I feel myself bending over so he can open me up more, his tongue flicking round and round and pushing into my ass. His fingers slide forward and start to work on my pink swollen clit, gentle at first, stoking it with tender care, moving my button round. I know I’m wet from more than just the spa, I know I’m going to start moaning, I know my resistance has crumbled, I know I want this man, I want him deep in me.

He’s licking me now, from my arse to my clit and I can hear him moan “fucking beautiful love, your fucking beautiful”. He doesn’t stop , he doesn’t let up and I’m dripping, all wet, all wanton, moaning, sighing, lost in intense physical pleasure – I know I’m coming, but the intensity shocks me – my orgasm, a mind blowing, toe curling, knee weakening, nipple hardening, cunt gushing explosion. So intense I can barely breathe.

When I can finally open my eyes he’s standing before me, wiping his mouth – “fucking gorgeous love” he says “you taste so good”. My eyes are wild, my desire unleashed, I want him, I need him, I have to have him.

“I need your cock in my mouth, let me have you”, I’m on my knees in front of him, his huge cock already rock hard, oh but its mine now.

I hold him up and start at his balls, licking the underside of his shaft to the head and back again, balls to head, over and over, sliding my tongue into his opening before taking his head into my mouth. I love that. I love having a big cock in my mouth, I love bearing down on a cock and pushing it as deep into my mouth as I can go, over and over again. His hands are on my head, holding my hair out of the way so he can see the exquisite pleasure I’m having taking him into me. He can control my head and he thrusts into my mouth, surprising me with the force and the depth his cock reaches before nature makes me gag – but I love it all, the gentle and the force. I suck and lick and stokes and get his gorgeous cock as wet as I can and I know he’s coming, and I know I want his cum to slide down my throat, I want to taste and possess him. His thrust deep and delicious, his grunting evident enough, his orgasm hard and strong, like him. Brilliant.

I’ve got something for you, he says, close your eyes,

I cant see anything any way but I comply

His hands brush my hair and he slides something on my face, its my glasses, he’s found them.

“I rescued them from the river love, couldn’t leave a lady like you without eyesight, sorry but I couldn’t find your phone”

Tears come again, my gratitude boundless.

“Thankyou, thankyou so much” I say. “I’ve got a reward for you”

And as I lead him toward the bed room he asks “And what’s that love”… but no need for an answer, my pussy already wet, his cock hardening,   It will be a good night after all.

Adult Content

This is an adults only section.  There are images, posts, stories and references of a  highly explicit and sexual nature.    Enjoy

that little black dress is underwear


 His critical eye watched me undress, “take everything off and come lie down, I have a treat for you…..close your eyes”.  I felt the soft silk scarf gentle placed across my eye.  “not too tight?” he asked, the consideration evident from his tone….  “no its fine…what are you going to do to me” I asked.

“shhhhh, don’t worry you will enjoy this, I promise” he kissed me then – a delightful surprise from his lips.  I felt his fingers slide along my arm locating my wrist – another scarf tied – pulled tight – restrained now, locked to the bedframe.  It dawned on me that he was tying me down – a little edge of fear creeping in….and as if sensing my growing concern he reassured me with a whisper in my ear.  “You will enjoy this so be a good girl and lie still while I spread your legs apart, I want you open and unable to resist…..I want to look inside you!”

His fingers slid up my legs and caressed my pink folds, rolling around my pink, pulling my lips apart, playing with my flesh, stretching my skin.  He probed into me, one, two, three fingers – pushing deep and spreading me apart, searching for my g spot – opening me up.   I begged him then – “Oh fuck me, fuck me, please fuck me, please fuck me”.

The suddenness with which he withdrew surprised me.  “You want to be fucked?” he quizzed.  “How about I eat you first – would you like that?”  He asked

“yes yes yes yes yes please, oh yes”

“Do you like being tied up and blindfolded?” his question eliciting another stream of “yes, yes, yes” from my lips.

“Very well, but first I am removing another of your senses”, the noise cancelling headphones he used when travelling fitting snuggly on my head.

All sound became muffled, “Doug, I’m not sure about this…….”, my voice sounding strange in my head.  Of course I could not hear his response but worse I felt as if he wasn’t in the room, as if he had left me.

“Doug?????” Nothing!!!

I pulled against the restraints but he had done a great job and I was captive until he chose to release me.  I desperately needed to pee and to cum.  My pussie aching from his ministrations.

A breeze played across my nipples and they stood up, cold against my skin….”Doug, what’s going on?”

I felt fingers pinch my nipples –it took me by surprise “ouch”.  Douge fingers tracing their way down my belly and to my love button, swirling and turning and patting my tiny clit.   Something was different but I could not tell what “Doug???” I questioned again.

The sensation of a tongue on my clit took me by surprise.  Short sharp flicks followed by the gentlest of flat-tongued pressure.  A gentle mouth sucking at my clit, coaxing it from its hood, twirling tongue around my button, not direct, not harsh, but soft like the licking of a cat.

“Oh yes – I love that, Doug I love that” I moaned.  My pink flesh yielded to the pressure – tongue pushing into me over and over again then travelling the length of my split – up and down.   “Oh fuccccck that’s good”

I arched my back as the tongue pushed deep into my wet, soaking cunt”.  Abruptly the ear phones and blindfold were pulled from my head and I opened my eyes to see Doug standing beside me, his cock rock hard and inches from my mouth.    Confusion took hold – if you are beside me, who is licking my hole.  Incredulous, I opened my mouth but before I could move my head to look at the player between my legs, your cock forced its way deep into my mouth.  You mounted me then, driving your cock deep into my throat making me gag.  Your fingers replacing the tongue between my legs.  “Suck my balls and lick my arsehole while I mouth-fuck her” you command.  A female laugh, “sure happy too”.

I hear you moan, I hear the pleasure in your voice as you encourage this other woman   Your passion so great, your hold on my head, so firm, you cock gagging me over and over again.  I know you are cumming, your body taunt, your head thrown back, your eyes look into mine.  You are the master.  This other woman’s body pressed on mine as she buries her head between your butt cheeks searching for your sack and licking your arsehole.

With your hands firmly on my head you drive your cock deep into my mouth in over and over again until you unleash your cream into my mouth and over my face.  “do not swallow” you command and I hold your hot salty cum in my mouth.  You fall off me in exhaustion – spent and depleted.

“Kiss her, lick my cum from her mouth” and for the first time I see the other and I know why you chose her – curvy, blonde and pretty….mmmmm  She kisses me and sucks your cum from my mouth – her arse wiggling in the air.  I see you move behind her and watch as you stroke yourself hard – takes so little time, I know you are turned on.  Our eyes meet as you reach for a condom……and I watch as you mount her and plunge into her  – I watch as the douge sensations that play across your face when you fuck me, are evident as you plunge into her hole.  – Tears form in my eyes, I have gone from ecstasy to crushed failure in minutes.


You watch me and laugh…..”Lee doesn’t like anal sex. Do you like anal sex? ” you ask the blonde.  She nods and looks into my eyes – “don’t cry sweetie’, she says and licks my tears”.  I lay there, restrained unable to look away, this woman above me bucking and moaning, grinding against you as you fuck her arse- your momentum increasing.

“I love it, fuck my arse hard” she says, and you comply.

“Lee doesn’t like eating pussy either” you tell the blonde.

“Really!” she says

“Put your cunt in her mouth, make her eat your pussie”




You have gone to let her out of our house.  I have been tied to the bed for over an hour – I am sore, desperate for a pee and sad that I’ve lost you.  You look at me from the doorway, your hand playing with your cock…..what were the tears about, you ask.  I don’t know how to explain.

You untie my legs and I slam them shut so happy to be able to close them.  You untie my arms and I wipe them over my mouth to remove the wetness of her from me.  I go to stand and you tell me to stay there.  I really don’t want to comply, “I need to pee”, I tell you.

“And I need to make love to you first.  Open your legs, open your body to me” you say.  I look into your eyes, they are dark and compelling.  I can never resist you.  You climb onto me, your cock hard, so beautifully hard and already I feel my heat rise, I want you in me so so bad. I want you now, I need you now.  You laugh, you know you have me and it delights you.

Can I ask you to lunch!

“Can I ask you to lunch”, his brief message was unexpected.  We’d only been talking for a couple of hours.   I was sceptical – I’d been stood up recently, ghosted by some sick sad dickhead, left at a restaurant by myself without even a “sorry darl, something came up”.

I don’t know if you can imagine the sense of worthlessness and embarrassment that accompanies a no show.  With tears barely contained I’d paid for my drink and left the table and spent a wasted Saturday night alone on the couch. Dating is such a shitty thing sometimes.

I checked his profile again…………his positive attitude and happy disposition shone through – (but so had Mr No shows).  His profile pictures an album of adventure, smiles and naked chests.  He looked fit, tidy and well presented for his 50 years – always a joy to find a man your own age who knows the importance of keeping fit and filling a shirt with muscle not flab.  You could tell he was a metrosexual, a modern man– that he moisturised his face, knew the importance of a close shave, and wasn’t still wearing the shirt his ex-wife had bought him ten years before.

“Lunch Saturday at a café near the beach”.  He was picking up his kids later that day so had a couple of hours free.

I sat contemplating, my fingers twitching on the keyboard, yes or no, was it worth putting myself out there again, last weeks’ bitter rejection still scratching behind my eyes.  Ok I thought, lunch is worth the gamble.  But could I be bothered with all the prep – I’d spent a small fortune last week getting my hair done, my nails painted and the ubiquitous waxing all for a failed excuse of a dog who never showed.  Nope, not again.  For lunch, I’d iron my pretty blue dress, touch up my nails and put my hair in curlers but no waxing, no shaving and no hair removal.

Melbourne’s weather is so unpredictable. It was raining.  I’d ran to the café from the carpark but the deluge paid a specific visit to my path, my hair a bedraggled mess, dirt splatters on the back of my legs, my blue cotton dress damp and clammy.  The waiter had been extra nice and found me a fresh tea towel for my hair and had directed me to the cafés tiny bathroom, barely large enough to turn round in.  I ducked my head under the hand dryer and touched up my makeup – oh god I was a mess.  Waiting for anyone, he asked as he handed me a menu.  I looked into the face of the handsome waiter and told him about my blind date.  “Good luck” he said as he bought me my coffee.

He was late – I sat at the table re reading the menu, I ordered a second coffee, I checked facebook, I checked the news, opened and closed the dating app four times.  He was late and no message………the waiter watching from the counter knew something wasn’t right.  Steeling myself for the embarrassment of paying for my coffee and leaving alone, I took a deep breath and approached the counter.  “Looks like I’ve been stood up….again” I said……..The waiter a vision of polite restraint.

It was still pouring as I stood in the café door contemplating my run to the car.  With my handbag acting as an umbrella I made my dash across the road and to the car park…”what the #$%” I exclaimed, my car was blocked in by a four wheel drive with a flat tyre.  The drive on his hands and knees cussing as he wrenched the wrench.  “F%^&ing thing^” he swore.

I didn’t need this…..”Mate how long you going to be” I’m starting to shiver from the cold.

Without raising his head he barks back “Give it a break lady, the frigging wheel nuts stuck and the RACV won’t get here for two hours.”

Its him, its my date, I’m speechless…..”weren’t you supposed to be on a date” I said

“For goodness sakes lady if it’s not one thing it’s another” and its then I notice the smashed phone at his feet, “dropped the frigging tyre lever on my phone so I can’t even call her to say I’m late.”

He stops then and turns and looks at me, his eyes slowly running up the length of my body – “Red” he says, ‘yes its me” I say.  We stare at each other, the incongruity of the situation evident from our failed ability to speak.  He finally stands, “Hello, nice to meet you.

Deep inside the relief at not being stood up turns to mirth at the bizarreness of the situation and I start to laugh, “Nice to meet you too.”

His eyes start to travel down my frame, my wet dress clinging to my body. “Lets get out of this rain” he suggests and opens the door to the back seat of his four-wheel drive.  I climb in, glad for the warmth, he follows me and we sit looking at each other in awkward silence for a moment.

“I thought you’d stood me up”

“So sorry “ he said and handed me a kids towel from the cargo hold – “let me dry you off” his hands lightly brushing my hair from my face,  “you’re shivering, let me warm you up” and he gathered me into his arms and started rubbing my back.  “this is a bit awkward” I said, “I don’t know what to do”.

He looked at me,  “You are prettier in person than your photos and  I knew you had a nice body but – wow your incredible.”  He kissed me then, a gentle soft lovely kiss.  It was thrilling and I felt myself melt into his body.

Time passed, I don’t know how long I’d been in his arms or for how long we had kissed but I knew deep within myself that I wanted him more now than I had ever wanted anyone before.  My hand slid down his arm, rested gentle on his chest and trailed toward his groin.

He moaned as I lightly stroked over the top of his bulge.

“Wait…I have something to tell you”…. My eyes opened and I looked at him questionably.  “I should have told you before but I really wanted to meet you and I didn’t think I’d be this attracted to you.”

Warning bells started to ring again and I pulled back, his reluctance to release me evident in his hold.  “Go on,” I said

“Umm you see, I’m actually married but she just doesn’t get it, and you are gorgeous, I’m  really attracted to you, I’m sure we can be really great together………”  I didn’t hear the rest of the words, the pounding of my blood in my ears to great.  I untangled myself from his grip and undid the car door, as I went to get out he said,   “please wait”…………………I looked at him then and saw a world of reality.

So entitled, he thought he was so entitled to waste my time, as if I was nothing more than a convenience for his ego.  That he could explain away his marriage, his commitment to his wife, his obligations and that I would be willing, indeed even eager to participate in this farce.

So entitled, he thought he was so entitled to break his word to his wife.  That he was so entitled to cheat on his family, that he could trade off his failure to address the issues in his life and demean me and her by his callous actions and that I would be willing.

Why is it that men think they are entitled to my time, my body, my presence just because they think I’m sexy.  I slide out of the car, closed the door and with all the self-esteem I could muster, all the righteous indignation I could fold into my core, I return to the Café.

The waiter, a credit to his craft, senses that something is amiss.  “Not having a good day, love” his cheery voice overlaid with concern.  “You wouldn’t believe it.” I say.

He brings me a coffee and casually sits down beside me.  “I’m a good listener” he says and with that the sun broke through the storm clouds and threw shimmering beams of light across the table.  We chatted for a couple of hours about all sorts of things, him indignant about my latest dating disaster, me enthralled about his craft beer project, his hobby farm and his coffee-grounds recycling ideas.

We’re catching up next week to play backgammon.  Faith in men mildly restored.